Ugh. Did pretty well today. Didn't go to bed too late last night, got a lot of housework done, took only a brief nap and didn't keep the TV on non-stop. However, I feel like crap. My head hurts and I feel large and bloated.
I'm trying to focus on that for which I am grateful. I have a lovely friend from college who helped provide gifts for my kids for Christmas. Then, I was pleasantly surprised to find a stoop full of gifts this morning. So now we have no money that needs to be spent for the kids' Christmas. I got an awesome haircut that makes me feel lighter and younger. I taught my kids a prayer to say at night when they're scared. These are the things on which I am choosing to focus. I will get nowhere if the obsession of my mind is my food decisions. The more I can change my focus to others, to my worth that's inherent in who I am, the easier it will be to make healthful food choices that honor my body, God's temple.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
A Piece of Peace
Starbucks by myself is just lovely. I usually get out for "coffee" at least once a week, but recently it's not been as often. I use coffee loosely because I've never been a big fan. I have been opting for water and a yogurt/granola treat.
Jeremy had a rough day at preschool today. He is prone to emotional outbursts-always has been. I have been working with him for a while to try to temper his emotions. Part of it, I've learned, has been about me tempering my emotions. I've noticed that he has started to scream at Bekah to leave him alone. Unfortunately, my temper doesn't look attractive on others. When I see him start to lose it, I physically hold him. He tends to want to push/hit/kick whoever is upsetting him. I hold him to get him to stop, to help him find an out. Then, very quietly (that's been my recent effort-trying to be more quiet) I tell him to take a couple of deep breaths. After he's done that, we say a simple prayer together "God, please help me calm down." I can't say that the emotional outbursts have stopped, but it's definitely raised my awareness about keeping my own emotions in check.
I try not to take credit when my kids do well because then I have to take the self-criticism if they do poorly. Both Bekah and Jeremy have a lot of really wonderful gifts, but the humility for me is stepping aside and letting God have that credit. I don't blame God for their shortcomings, though. That's also humility-recognizing that my kids are human beings with free will. I have been trying to show them more grace lately, which helps both them and me. If I can acknowledge that we all have bad moments/days, then it's okay if they are emotionally obtrusive. It's part and parcel with being that age. Heck, it's part and parcel with being my age.
The other thing on my mind has been my weight. I lost a good amount of weight after Doug was born, but lately the needle on the scale has been moving the other way. I had done Weight Watchers in the past but stopped going for different reasons. I have hesitated to rejoin, but now I'm realizing that I need help. I just need boundaries set for me in black and white. I need a guideline to fill out. I would love to be on the smaller side of 250 by Easter (that would be about 40ish pounds). The one obstacle is, of course, money. I am hoping Santa will bring me enough money to cover registration and a few months of service. I am going to do it online; meetings of another kind already chew up most of my free time. We'll see how this goes; my strong desire is to be able to wear my engagement/wedding band again. I've not been able to physically wear it for almost 4 years. Other than that, I'd love to buy cute nursing tops and jeans that don't have spandex in them.
Oh, my. I am grateful for so much, but it makes me crazy that there are people starving in the world and I am 100+ pounds overweight. That's craziness.
Jeremy had a rough day at preschool today. He is prone to emotional outbursts-always has been. I have been working with him for a while to try to temper his emotions. Part of it, I've learned, has been about me tempering my emotions. I've noticed that he has started to scream at Bekah to leave him alone. Unfortunately, my temper doesn't look attractive on others. When I see him start to lose it, I physically hold him. He tends to want to push/hit/kick whoever is upsetting him. I hold him to get him to stop, to help him find an out. Then, very quietly (that's been my recent effort-trying to be more quiet) I tell him to take a couple of deep breaths. After he's done that, we say a simple prayer together "God, please help me calm down." I can't say that the emotional outbursts have stopped, but it's definitely raised my awareness about keeping my own emotions in check.
I try not to take credit when my kids do well because then I have to take the self-criticism if they do poorly. Both Bekah and Jeremy have a lot of really wonderful gifts, but the humility for me is stepping aside and letting God have that credit. I don't blame God for their shortcomings, though. That's also humility-recognizing that my kids are human beings with free will. I have been trying to show them more grace lately, which helps both them and me. If I can acknowledge that we all have bad moments/days, then it's okay if they are emotionally obtrusive. It's part and parcel with being that age. Heck, it's part and parcel with being my age.
The other thing on my mind has been my weight. I lost a good amount of weight after Doug was born, but lately the needle on the scale has been moving the other way. I had done Weight Watchers in the past but stopped going for different reasons. I have hesitated to rejoin, but now I'm realizing that I need help. I just need boundaries set for me in black and white. I need a guideline to fill out. I would love to be on the smaller side of 250 by Easter (that would be about 40ish pounds). The one obstacle is, of course, money. I am hoping Santa will bring me enough money to cover registration and a few months of service. I am going to do it online; meetings of another kind already chew up most of my free time. We'll see how this goes; my strong desire is to be able to wear my engagement/wedding band again. I've not been able to physically wear it for almost 4 years. Other than that, I'd love to buy cute nursing tops and jeans that don't have spandex in them.
Oh, my. I am grateful for so much, but it makes me crazy that there are people starving in the world and I am 100+ pounds overweight. That's craziness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)